


The Problem Isn't You

by Wolfheart



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrifice, up to season 3b talked about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4400429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfheart/pseuds/Wolfheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a lot wrong, but the problem isn't Scott McCall, and the problem isn't Stiles Stilinski.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Problem Isn't Scott McCall

**Author's Note:**

> This all started with prompts that I got on my Tumblr. They were supposed to just be little drabbles, but two prompts I had gotten inspired me to write a two part fic. ❤
> 
> This first chapter was inspired by the prompt: "You make me feel like I'm not good enough."
> 
> Enjoy! ;)

The problem wasn't Scott McCall. The problem wasn't that his best friend got bitten in the middle of the night their sophomore year and turned into a werewolf. Well, maybe that was some of the problem. Maybe part of the problem was that his best friend was chivalrous and that his heart of gold had promoted him into being a true alpha above all the rest. It was possible that part of the problem was that his best friend had seemed to turn from good o' Scotty to the looked up to Scott McCall in what seemed like a blink of an eye. Most of the problem, however, was that Stiles Stilinski was still just plain, ordinary Stiles.

Stiles was human through and through. He couldn't hear the drop of a pen a mile away, and he couldn't lift a car any given weekday whenever he got bored. No, his special skills involved flailing his arms too much when he talked, talking more shit than he could get away with, and lugging around the occasional baseball bat that was really only good for breaking itself. He couldn't exactly say this out loud, but sometimes the only good thing about Stiles Stilinski was Scott Mccall.

It wasn't how he always felt, but when you're walking side by side with the saves-kittens-from-trees True Alpha, it was kind of hard not to feel like that some days. Maybe Stiles really believed he was stronger without it or maybe it was just bitter stubbornness, but he didn't want the bite. He wanted to prove he could fight alongside everyone despite his fragile bones and laughable lack of strength.

_I'm afraid being turned into a werewolf will only make it more noticeable how inadequate I really am._

Where Stiles lacked in strength, he made up for in wit. He worked himself to the point of exhaustion some nights trying to research information and uncover the secrets of the supernatural. The thought of everyone stepping blindly into a situation where they might not come back from was a horrifying one. Stiles was prepared, wanted to make sure everyone else was too, and he took pride in it.

Yet some days, Stiles would stare at his best friend and think to himself, ' _You make me feel like I'm not good enough.'_

The problem wasn't Scott McCall. The problem wasn't how much he loved his best friend. The problem was how much Stiles didn't love himself. Every time Stiles would feel brave enough to voice how incapable he felt sometimes, Scott would stare at him with those brown eyes of his and listen as if there was nothing more important in the entire world than what Stiles had to say. Scott would look at him sometimes, and Stiles would look back and wonder how he got lucky enough to have him in his life. There was so much love in Scott's heart, and Stiles was selfish about it. Scott poured so much love into other people—so much love into _him—_ and Stiles wanted to stay in the forefront of Scott's mind, stay beside Scott's side wherever he was. How could someone as greedy and critical as Stiles be deserving of someone so kindhearted? Yet, Scott stayed by him anyway. He looked at Stiles like he was something more than Stiles felt he was and gave him far more than Stiles felt he deserved.

_Do you love me in the same way I love you? Tell me you lie in bed at night thinking of me like I can't stop thinking about you._

_'It's okay,'_ Scott would say when Stiles let his fears and doubts be out in the open, and he'd believe Scott despite the hopelessness sitting in his chest. It would be okay because Scott was sure it would be. Stiles knew Scott was genuine. He already had his heart on his sleeve, and Stiles knew Scott would be at his side in a heartbeat just as Stiles would be at his. Stiles didn't even have to ask. The feeling was just mutual despite Stiles's lack in... He wasn't a hero. Didn't Scott get that? Then despite everything Stiles had done when he was possessed, Scott would still tell him when Stiles felt lost, ' _I'll help you.'_

Scott loving him so fully wasn't a solution to Stiles's problems, but it was a bandage to a wound, a light in the darkness. Stiles didn't want Scott to have to help him. He wanted to say he could do this alone, could be as strong as everyone else, and be on the front lines. Those words did help guide Stiles in the direction of where he needed to be though. It lifted him up and gave him the extra courage he needed because if someone like Scott McCall could care so deeply about just plain, ordinary Stiles, maybe Stiles would start believing he was worth it.


	2. The Problem Isn't Stiles Stilinski

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like the last chapter, this chapter was also inspired by a prompt someone gave me. The prompt was, "Loving you is exhausting."

The problem wasn't Stiles Stilinski. The problem wasn't his slower reflexes or his inability to heal as fast as Scott could. Well, maybe that was some of the problem. Maybe part of the problem was how fragile Stiles was and how easy it was for claws to tear and rip into his skin. It was possible that part of the problem was how Stiles was determined to throw himself into danger alongside Scott with only sarcasm as a shield. Most of the problem, however, was how cruel and dangerous their world had become.

It wasn't fair for just a bunch of teenagers to get tossed into a world where one wrong step could mean their lives. None of them should have been asked to march into war under the light of every full moon that rose into the sky, but that was the hand given to them anyway. It was hard for Scott to face all of these supernatural beings, to stand tall and fight when all he wanted to do was finish high school and go to college like every other, normal student in Beacon Hills without having to worry about dying. He couldn't imagine being anywhere else though—wouldn't want to be anywhere else—when there were so many people who needed help, who needed saving.

_I'm one of them._

It was always easier when Stiles was with him. The distress that tightened in Scott's chest would melt away whenever his best friend was supporting him at his side. They had always been ride or die ever since they'd met, and Scott hated how that saying had gotten a little too literal. That wasn't either of their faults. It had been the wrong place, the wrong time. There was nothing in the rules that said Stiles had to stay when Scott's world got tuned upside down, but he was there anyway. There was no way Scott would've been able to do any of this if it hadn't been for Stiles being here. He lifted Scott's spirits in the darkest of times with witty remarks and animate gestures. He was a solid reminder to what Scott was fighting for, and there was a comfort brought with his presence that gave Scott the needed push to ascend through all the hardships.

Yet some days, Scott would look over at his best friend and think with a sinking heart, _'Loving you is exhausting.'_

The problem wasn't Stiles Stilinski. The problem wasn't how much Scott loved him and how scared he was to lose his best friend. The problem was that sometimes they brushed so close to death that losing Stiles was a real and terrifying possibility. The problem was Scott hadn't been able to save some of their friends before, and he was afraid Stiles would be next. Some of those they'd lost even had supernatural strength and accelerated healing. When they should've been the ones out of everyone to make it through, it just went to show that life wasn't fair and gave special treatment to no one.

Scott wanted Stiles to have special treatment.

There were times where Stiles rolled his eyes at a lame crack Scott made and smiled in spite of himself. Scott's cheeks would hurt with how wide he'd grinned as his eyes linger on Stiles's face, trailing from his honey brown eyes to his parted lips... Where Stiles struggled to sleep, Scott struggled to get out of bed. Sometimes he slept long hours because being awake meant facing the cruel touch of reality, even though he knew the longer he lied there, the guiltier he'd feel for wasting time that could've been spent making everyone safer. He couldn't let everyone down. He couldn't let Stiles down.

Scott was haunted by the image of Stiles treading through a gasoline soaked parking lot. He couldn't force out the image of Stiles's hands wrapping around Scott's fingers so he wouldn't be the only one to hold the detonator. Scott couldn't stop the shame he felt. He couldn't ignore that long, sickening moment when he should have been devastated by Stiles's willingness to join him, he had instead wanted to cry, ' _Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.'_

_Why you? Why does it have to be you to risk your life to save me?_

_You're braver than I could ever be._

All of the bruises and cuts that would litter Stiles's skin were stark reminders that Scott needed to be stronger. He couldn't let his guard down, not when danger could be lurking around any corner. Sometimes when Scott closed his eyes, he pictured Noshiko Yukimura telling him Stiles can't be saved. The worst times were when he heard those words when he was awake.

Scott sacrificing himself to protect his friends wasn't a solution to his problem, but that was exactly what Scott was going to do if it meant lowering the chances of Stiles getting hurt. Stiles's life was still going to be fragile, painfully human, and too easily ripped away. The world wasn't going to go softer and more lenient just because Scott begged for it to be, but that didn't mean Scott wasn't willing to keep trying. It didn't mean Scott wasn't going to try to save Stiles each and every time with every fiber of his being.


End file.
